2. A Rough Idea of the Place

,: 2022

FADE IN:

Int. of the Unhallowed Grounds cafe.

1. Background diner conversation and noises, same as last episode. Door with attached bell opens and closes.

OLLIE

Welcome back! Seems the girl From Away

survived her first weekend in the wilds

of Wolfbrook.

ASHLEY

Um… yeah. Yeah, I did, thank you. Hey,

can I ask you a question?

OLLIE

It’s a free country. Or at least as free

as it’s ever been. Which is to say it isn’t,

really. Did you know we got demoted by the

Center for Systemic Peace from a full

Democracy to an Anocracy a couple years

ago? Anyway. You look rattled, what’s up?

ASHLEY

I’m following up on a lead for a story, but

I can’t seem to actually find what I need to

find. Geographically, I mean. My GPS is being

less helpful than I’d like, and people keep

trying to give me directions based on landmarks

that aren’t actually there. Like a barn that

burned down a few years ago?

OLLIE

Ah, yes. Welcome to New England! It’s a

thing.

ASHLEY

Okay, um. Any chance you could maybe

help a girl out? I’m looking for someplace

called Andronicus Hill Road. Also another

cup of coffee.

OLLIE

One order of jet fuel, coming up. As to the

other thing… I think I might know a guy. Do

you remember Jeff?

1. Cue Theme Song and Title Credits

Int. of a Pickup Truck

2. A pickup truck drives over bad road, the same sort of rattle and bump as last episode.

ASHLEY

Thanks again for the help. I never would

have found this place on my own.

JEFF

Sure.

ASHLEY

I mean there are three different roads in town

with some version of ‘Smith’ in the name, and

two entirely unrelated and unconnected Old

Forsythe Roads.

JEFF

Un-hunh.

ASHLEY

I think Ginberry Street might be a full circle.

How can a street be a full circle? How would

you number the houses? And there was no sign

for this road either.

JEFF

Plough.

ASHLEY

It makes me wonder who’s in charge of—what?

JEFF

There’s no sign because it got hit by a

JEFF (CONT’D)

plough. January, two, three years back. Bill

Stuart was driving. Said a bee got into the

cabin with him.

ASHLEY

Do you often get active bee hives in municipal

vehicles in the middle of winter here?

JEFF

No. But one time I took the wall out of an

office in the community center to fix the HVAC.

Found a bee hive inside. It was a good ten,

twelve foot across.

ASHLEY

Surprisingly, I didn’t find that story

particularly reassuring. Hey, what’s that?

Broken glass?

1. The truck slows to a halt.

JEFF

Safety glass, looks like.

ASHLEY

Would you mind if we take a look?

JEFF

Fine by me. I’m off for the day.

2. The truck turns off. Two truck doors open, two people step out into the road, two truck doors close. Two sets of footsteps on the dirt road, one heavier, one lighter. Wind sighs through the trees.

ASHLEY

Doesn’t look like much. Maybe this isn’t

the place.

JEFF

What are you looking for, exactly?

ASHLEY

The scene of… some kind of accident. On

Andronicus Hill Road.

JEFF

Well, I’d say this is your best bet, then.

I take this route pretty much daily, an’

this is the only spot with anything like that.

ASHLEY

Okay, so this is the place. Fantastic! So

now I just need to figure out…what happened.

JEFF

I thought you said there was an accident?

ASHLEY

I mean, yeah. Totally. I just… I thought there

would have been more left behind than some

broken glass.

JEFF

You mean like some sort of weird purple

liquid, tire tracks from heavy towing equipment,

an’ trees that look like they’ve been mauled

by an especially cranky bear?

ASHLEY

I hadn’t really gotten that specific, but OOOH!

JEFF

Yeah.

ASHLEY

You know, you’re really good at the whole

“journalism” thing.

JEFF

Kind of you to say, but really I’ve just

seen enough drunk Massholes drive their SUVs

into the woods to know what it looks like. I’ll

admit that the purple goo on the glass is a

new one on me, though.

ASHLEY

And look at the way the trees are broken.

JEFF

What about it?

ASHLEY

They’re pointed towards us.

JEFF

So they weren’t hit by a car leaving the

road.

ASHLEY

They were taken down by something coming

out of the woods. Something the size of a

Buick and dripping purple goo.

1. Music to mark scene change.

Ext. on Main Street in Wolfbrook, mid-afternoon.

2. Two sets of feet walking on a sidewalk. The periodic rustle of plastic grocery bags being carried. An occasional vehicle passes by.

SOPHIA

Thank you again for all your help with my

errands, dear. You really didn’t have to.

RENÉE

That’s sweet, Missus C, but my court order

says I actually really do have to.

SOPHIA

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, but I am

very sure it does not say that you have to

be so nice to me while you do. You even argued

with that cashier who tried to cheat me!

RENÉE

They weren’t really trying to cheat you, but

they did double scan the chicken.

SOPHIA

You see? Thieves. May they die of an

embarrassing disease of an unmentionable

body part, and be a source of such shame to

their family that their gravestone bears

a stranger’s name.

RENÉE

Well that was oddly specific. Soooo, any

big plans for the rest of the day?

1. A new set of footsteps approaches, hard soled dress shoes on the sidewalk.

SOPHIA

Oh my, yes! I have to can some of the

vegetables from the garden, and there

are some squirrels I need to poison, and

then I… I… I need to hide. Hide from the

Devil. Hide! Hide from the Devil! The grave

has spat him up, and he comes wreathed in

fire!

RENÉE

Whoa! Missus Castellanos, calm down!

JOHN

Good afternoon, ladies. Is everything alright?

SOPHIA

The devil wears a shining face, but he eats

children, and rats, and offal. He drinks the

dreams of prisoners!

JOHN

Oh, dear. Is she having one of her episodes?

RENÉE

Um, yeah, she just started freaking out.

2. Bags of groceries clatter and crash to the sidewalk.

SOPHIA

Child of the broken cross! Destroyer of

generations! Shadow from the dark forest!

JOHN

Here, let me help you with those. We would not

want the tinned salmon to roll into traffic.

3. Groceries are gathered up and placed in plastic bags.

RENÉE

Thanks. We appreciate you help, don’t we,

Missus C?

SOPHIA

Hide. Hide. Hide from the thing, and hide

from the devil.

JOHN

It is quite sad to see her like this. She was

always so… vibrant when I was a child. Always

quick with a joke, or a song.

RENÉE

Are you a friend of the family?

JOHN

My father was. I have not kept in touch as

often as I should have, probably. I had not

realized she had gotten this bad.

SOPHIA

I remember! I remember! And they all die

screaming!

1. A car door opens and closes. Booted feet make their way across the sidewalk.

VICTORIA

Everything alright here, folks?

JOHN

I believe so, Captain. Mrs. Castellanos

has had something of a trying day, and Miss

Simard was about to escort her home. That is

right, is it not, Miss Simard?

RENÉE (somewhat confusedly)

Um… yeah. Spot on. Come on, Mrs. C, let’s

get you home. Nice to meet you, Mr…

JOHN

Walters. John Walters.

SOPHIA

RENÉE (very faintly sarcastic)

Great to see you again, Captain Beaumonte.

VICTORIA

Oh, I’m sure. Let’s keep the speed below

highway rates on your way back home, okay?

I’d hate to have to call your dad to explain

that I busted you for recklessly endangering

an elderly citizen while performing your

community service.

SOPHIA

Would-be tyrants hide behind the shield

of liberty to drip poison in the ears of

children.

VICTORIA

And I can’t wait to see your decorative gourd

display this year, Sophia. Take care, now.

RENÉE

Come on.

1. Two sets of feet depart from the scene.

VICTORIA

What the fuck was that, John?

JOHN

As I said, Sophia was having one of her

spells.

VICTORIA

You sure you didn’t provoke her somehow?

JOHN

How would I do that? And, for that matter,

why would I want to?

VICTORIA

Because you like to fuck with people, John.

JOHN

Even assuming that were true, Sophia would

make for poor sport. Why play with a broken

toy when there are so many others to choose

from?

VICTORIA

If I had to guess, I’d probably say childhood

trauma, but I don’t actually give a shit.

JOHN

Is there something I can help you with, Captain?

VICTORIA

You know, I could bring you in just for fun.

Maybe I just happen to find some narcotics in

your pocket. Laced with fentanyl. Or meth.

JOHN

Perhaps our upbringings were not so

dissimilar after all.

VICTORIA

I could put you in a very small

concrete room, just because.

JOHN

You certainly could. Let us follow that course

of logic. Without my steady hand at the tiller,

my automotive business would fail. The

question arises: who would discreetly

dispose of vehicles for you? To say nothing

of the small matter of the bodies of the

all those missing persons. Who knows where

they might show up?

VICTORIA

Are you threatening me?

JOHN

Not at all. Just pointing out that the world

is a more welcoming and convenient place for

JOHN (CONT’D)

you while I remain at liberty and left to

my own devices.

1. A short burst of static as Victoria’s radio chirps.

911 OPERATOR

Nine-El-One, Nine-El-One, we have a situation.

2. The chirp/click of Victoria pressing her radio button.

VICTORIA

Nine-El-One, go ahead.

911 OPERATOR

Reports of shots fired at 27 Bressette.

Officer Beal on scene, requesting assistance.

3. The chirp/click of Victoria pressing her radio button.

VICTORIA

Laverne’s place? This better not be about

those damn possums again. Alright, I’m

en route. Tell Pritchard not to do anything

stupid. Nine-El-One out.

JOHN

The citizens of Wolfbrook call for their

hero.

VICTORIA

Yes, they do. Stay out of trouble John.

JOHN

Of course.

4. Footsteps on pavement fading, a car door opening and closing, a car starting and driving away.

JOHN

Always a pleasure, Captain.

1. Music to mark scene change.

Int. of Wolfbrook Community College, late at night.

2. Background - faint hum of an HVAC system, occasionally a page flip or book being shelved.

3. A chair creaks as Conrad leans back.

CONRAD

“Publish or be damned” be damned. There

are nights when the glamor and riches of

the academic life just don’t seem to live

up to all the hype. What time is it? Oh

dear God.

4. Padded footsteps.

SAMUEL MEYERS, an older man, though still very active and hearty, with a thick New Hampshire accent.

SAMUEL

Excuse me, young man. Would you be able to

help me find a book I’m looking for?

CONRAD

Oh, hello, sir. I’m sorry, but I’m not

actually a librarian.

SAMUEL

I’m aware. Bob went to take his break,

though, and he doesn’t seem to have left

anyone else on the desk.

CONRAD

Bob—you mean Robert? Mr. Levesque? Not

sure I’ve ever heard anyone call him ‘Bob’

before.

SAMUEL

Between age and familiarity, he said I’d

earned the right.

CONRAD

Hunh. Anyway, a book hunt?

SAMUEL

In a manner of speaking.

CONRAD

Sure, why not. I’d say it’s pretty clear

that I’m not making any more progress on

“Ess-Zed: a Post Structuralist Review Through

the Lens of Neo-Expressionism” tonight.

1. A large book quietly claps shut. A chair slides across carpet. Feet shuffle to standing, and a tap indicates a cane being used.

SAMUEL

Been meaning to ask — are you a veteran?

CONRAD

What? Oh! My cane. No, nothing like that.

Cerebral Palsy, relatively mild. I won’t

be winning any marathons, but I get around

well enough. Lay on, MacDuff!

SAMUEL

It’s Meyer. Samuel Meyer.

CONRAD

Oh! Right, sorry, yes. Um. My name is Conrad

Fielding.

SAMUEL

I know.

CONRAD

Er, apologies, but have we met?

SAMUEL

You may have seen me around. Been with

Physical Plant a few years. Mop the floors,

vacuum the carpets, that sort of thing.

CONRAD

Right! Yes, of course. How awful of me, I just…

couldn’t recall.

(CONRAD coughs/clears throat)

CONRAD (CONT’D)

So you’re looking for a book! And we’re in

a library! Splendid start. Any idea what

section it’s in, or are we starting with a

trip to one of the computers?

SAMUEL

Should be in the nine-hundreds.

CONRAD

You have the Dewey Decimal System memorized?

SAMUEL

Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.

CONRAD

I’m more of a “the ancient philosophers

are just past the potted plant on the left”

sort of man, myself. Anyway, nine hundreds,

nine hundreds, the writing on the wall says

that’s… this way.

1. Two sets of feet walk on carpet continuously, accompanied by cane taps.

CONRAD (CONT’D)

Should be just up ahead. May I ask the actual

name of our quarry?

SAMUEL

The Book of Dead Names.

CONRAD

You’re joking.

SAMUEL

Yep.

CONRAD

Oh, thank God. Alone in a library in the middle

of the night and accosted by someone asking

about the Necronomicon? That sounds suspiciously

like the plot to one of Ollie’s favorite movies.

SAMUEL

Ollie?

CONRAD

A friend of mine. Runs Unhallowed Grounds?

SAMUEL

Oh, right. Of course. Ollie.

CONRAD

They’re a big fan of horror movies and such.

SAMUEL

Well, we’re not in for anything that exciting.

Just a book of old survey maps. Maybe some

local history if we’re feeling particularly

adventurous and still have time before the

place closes.

CONRAD

Nine-hundreds, here we are.

1. Footsteps and cane STOP.

CONRAD

So where do we need to see a map of?

SAMUEL

Here, actually. Wolfbrook. Tell me, Conrad.

You ever stop to wonder about how parts of

a place get named? About the Indigenous name

of a lake, or about who we choose to lionize

and dedicate ball fields to?

CONRAD

Not really, I suppose. Main Street seems

pretty obvious. Water Street, too. Most

places I’ve lived have had a Bridge Street,

and then there’s the streets named after

trees, of course. I guess I’ve always thought

that the rest are named by… committee?

SAMUEL

Nowadays it’s mostly real estate developers.

That’s how you get complexes made out of

bargain bin materials with names like ‘Golden

Acre Estates.’ Before that it was usually

some bureaucrat or their flunky. Sometimes

just muddling along as best they could.

Sometimes with an eye to making — or erasing

— history.

CONRAD

That’s…actually quite interesting.

SAMUEL

Names have power. But that’s nothing new.

Just remember to take a look around once in awhile

and think. You’ll be a damn sight more prepared

for the world than most, if you can manage

that much.

1. Samuel claps his hands.

SAMUEL (CONT’D)

Anyway. You’ve done a kindness, letting an

old man ramble on. Back to the task at hand:

you ever hear of Andronicus Hill Road?

2. Music to mark scene change.

Int. of Ollie’s car, mid-day.

3. Road noise as the car travels over crumbling pavement. The radio is tuned to Public Radio.

NEWS ANCHOR, calm and well spoken.

NEWS ANCHOR

—this marks the third time that that the

President of the Russian Federation has been

filmed performing lewd acts with raw poultry.

To learn more about the public’s reaction, we’re

going to go now to our correspondent in the field—

4. Obnoxiously upbeat pop music blasts from a phone as a ringtone, the radio cuts out.

OLLIE

GAAH! Fuck. Grace, I love you, but I am

never letting you choose my ringtone again.

5. Phone beeps.

OLLIE

Hey, Renée. What’s up?

RENÉE

Oh my God, Ollie, we were on Bridge Street,

right? Just came out of Alexander’s, we had,

like, twelve bags of groceries, and Mrs. C.

totally loses it, and that guy? From the car

dealership? He shows up, she’s screaming, and

then she rolls in like the Doom That Came to

fucking Sarnath, and—

OLLIE

Wait, wait, wait — what happened? Start over,

and maybe try using some actual names.

RENÉE

Right. Okay. Yes. So. I was out with Mrs.

Castellanos for my community service. You

remember her?

OLLIE

Sure. Sweet, older lady? Puts up those great

jack o’ lanterns and carved turnips for

Halloween every year?

RENÉE

Yeah. So we went grocery shopping. And we’re

heading back to the car, right? And Mrs. C.,

she has these… I dunno. She’s got Alzheimers or

something, I’m not exactly sure, but sometimes

she gets lost in her own head or forgets things.

Gets confused, you know? So she starts ranting

and raving — and I mean literally ranting and

raving, totally loses her shit — and you know

that automotive place? The one with the,

like, yellow sheet-metal pavilion thing?

OLLIE

The one that has those creepy inflatable tube

guys that flail around out front?

RENÉE

No, no, that’s Ballard’s.

OLLIE

Oh right! I hate those inflatable tube guys,

though.

RENÉE

They are indeed creepy as shit, but I need

you to listen.

OLLIE

Okay, so not Ballard’s. OH! Yeah, sure, the

one over on Merrill, I’m with you know.

RENÉE

So the owner, he comes up to us, and he’s got

this… have your ever heard him talk? Something

is super off about the guy. Anyway, Mrs. C.

dropped a bunch of stuff, and this

guy — named John Walters, apparently — starts

picking stuff up and rebagging it for us, but…

I dunno, something about it just feels wrong.

Then, outta nowhere, Captain Fucking Beaumonte

pulls up and does that menacing/concerned

thing she does? Like Darth Soccer Mom?

OLLIE

Ooh, yeah.

RENÉE

And then John Walters steps in to give me

some covering fire, like

“Everything is fine, officer. Right, Miss

Simmard?”

Mrs. Castellanos is still freaking out so

I’m like “Sure, yep, you know it!” and I take

Mrs. C. and we get the hell out of there.

She calms down almost immediately, which is

RENÉE (CONT’D)

great, but also weird because what the fuck,

and I’m halfway home before I realize

I never told the guy my name. How did

he know my name, Ollie?!

OLLIE

…Okay?

RENÉE

…What do you mean ‘okay?!’

OLLIE

I mean “okay, go on, finish the story.”

RENÉE

That’s it. That…That’s the whole story.

OLLIE

Wait, so you’re upset because this John

Walters guy knew your name?

RENÉE

Yes! Jesus.

OLLIE

M’kay, let me try and reframe this for you.

John Walters, the owner of a long-standing

and prominent business in the small town of

Wolfbrook, New Hampshire, happened to recognize

Renée Simard, the daughter of Robert

Simard, the man who owns literally half of the

Main Street corridor. The same Robert

Simard whose family has owned the local paper

mill for over two hundred years. This would

also be the same Robert Simard who, along

with his fa mily (that’s you), has appeared

on the front page of the local paper at least,

what, a dozen times a year? For approximately

forever.

RENÉE

Well… I mean…

OLLIE

Rich Guy A recognizes Rich Guy B’s daughter.

He probably recognized you from a yacht club

party or something.

RENÉE

I dunno, it just felt… really weird.

OLLIE

And, that, fellow human, is a perfectly legit

thing to say. I don’t want to belittle your

feelings at all. You have every right to be

sketched out by some creepy guy accosting

you. I just thought it was worth reminding

you that pretty much everyone in town knows

who you are. Anonymous you are not.

RENÉE

Yeah, that’s…fair.

OLLIE

Listen, I hate to bail, but I actually have

to get going. I promise I’ll call you later

to check in, though, okay? I’m not blowing

you off, but if I don’t get the parts for

my car now, it’s not going to pass inspection,

and then I won’t be able to drive to work,

which means none of the cool people in town

will get coffee tomorrow, and that will

pretty much be the end of civilization as

we know it.

RENÉE

Okay. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it.

OLLIE

Always, friend. Take care. I’ll call you.

RENÉE

Say hi to Grace for me.

1. Phone beeps.

OLLIE

And we’re here.

1. Car travel noises stop. Car horn honks twice, short, in a friendly way. Engine turns off, keys are put away. Car door opens and closes. Footsteps on gravelly dirt.

OLLIE (CONT’D)

Xerxes! You around?

2. Other, heavier footsteps on gravelly dirt.

XERXES MEDINA, a masculine or nonbinary BIPOC graduate of MIT who has retired from academia to run their grandmother’s scrapyard in NH.

XERXES

Ollie! What brings you to my humble

establishment?

OLLIE

I may or may not be in dire need of a tail

light so that my venerable vehicle might

be judged road worthy by the Overlords.

XERXES

You know, we see eye to eye on most

matters of policy, but even I think that

car inspections serve a purpose. Emissions

regulation, if nothing else.

OLLIE

Gah! Curse you for confusing me with your

‘facts’ and ‘logic.’ If I could afford it,

I’d go electric, you know that. Hell, I’d

walk.

XERXES

But you can’t, and you don’t, so here you are.

Again. You sure you don’t want to trade up?

OLLIE

What’s the point of trading one junker for

another?

XERXES

Well, it might not routinely fall to pieces

during your morning commute, for one thing.

Intentionally driving a vehicle you can

actually see disintegrate while you operate

it offers some insight into your moral

character. But since we’re friends, I won’t

hazard a guess as to what that insight might

be.

OLLIE

Remind me again why you left the ivory towers

of M.I.T. to run this place?

XERXES

Shorter hours and better company.

OLLIE

You put in twelve hour days and work alone.

XERXES

I do, yes.

OLLIE

…Iiii see what you did there. Clever.

XERXES

I think so. At least… most days.

Would you like to see something interesting?

1. Two sets of footsteps set off across the gravelly dirt.

OLLIE

Is it a working passenger’s side tail light

for a: 2007

XERXES

No, I said interesting, not ‘insipid.’

OLLIE

Fiiiiiine. What is the glorious new

contraption you’ve invented this time? Oh!

Oh! Is it another exploding toaster oven?

Because those’re always a hoot.

XERXES

That happened exactly once. And it didn’t

explode, it caught fire. And the only reason

it caught fire, friend Ollie, was because you

forced the polarized plug into the outlet the

wrong way round and tried to heat an entire bag

of pizza rolls in one go.

OLLIE

The proletariat required sustenance.

XERXES

You forgot your lunch. Now what do you make

this?

1. The two sets of footsteps stop.

OLLIE

You’re trying to make an art installation

out of bits of scrap?

XERXES

Look closer.

OLLIE

Alright, you’ve got automotive bits, screws,

washers, some rebar, some old tools and they’re…

laid out in a spiral?

XERXES

Closer.

OLLIE

Mmmmokay, not a spiral, more like a… well

it is a spiral, but it’s got little bi ts

spiraling off of itself. Like a whatchamakalit.

Thingy. Fractal! Like a fractal.

XERXES

Excellent! Well spotted.

OLLIE

Well gee, teach, do I get a gold star?

XERXES

No, but you do get a passenger’s side tail

light for a: 2007

OLLIE

Sold! So what’s with the fractal pattern,

Xerxes? What gave you the urge to lay out

thousands of bits of metal like this?

XERXES

Nothing.

Ollie

You just did it for laughs?

XERXES

Ollie, I didn’t do it at all.

1. Quiet but shrill tension building noise.

Ollie

What?

XERXES

Came to the yard a few days ago and found it.

Well, something like it. Just a simple spiral,

the first time. Thought it might have been

vandalism, so I raked it up, took it apart.

Next day, I found another one, more complex

than the first. Took that one apart, too.

I set one of my security cameras to watch

this area, and put a trail cam up as a backup.

And you know what I saw when I watched the

recordings?

Nothing. No one. Just a bit of static now

and then, and thousands of pieces of metal

slowly… growing…

Into… this.

Let’s get you that tail light.

2. Endcap Music and Closing Titles